Go with it....

The Spin  

Wow, life has really sped up the last few years.  Every now and then I get a spinning sensation that seems to transcend the physical...  In these moments it feels something like getting on and off a merry-go-round; trying to balance and equlibrate all I have committed to and all I want to do.  I always come out a little dizzy but somehow eager to get back on and find that place where the whir swells up giddy inside.

Alive?....or just at the carnival...after too much sugar and too many rides....the ground moves a little...or is it the sky?

 Maybe it is because my kids are getting older, maybe it is because I am getting older, maybe it was the i-phone that changed the pace or when my father died.  Maybe it was the onset of all that has come with the corporate school reform movement or perhaps it was the realization that my grandmother has dementia and will never be the same.  Maybe it was the snowball effect of all these things on a middle aged girl from the 70's who dreams of a world where things are organized, meals are planned and people are happy.  Maybe I am just realizing that I am imperfectly human and that my physical "peak" may have already come and gone.  Maybe it is growing older, wiser or more aware of all that there is to fear, to learn, to conquer.  I don't know but I know I can't change it and so I must simply go with the flow....go with it, lean into it and be happy that even when I am spinning, I am still with myself and there is no one else I had rather spin with than me.

Best Seat on the Merry Go Round...just close your eyes....and enjoy the ride...even if you throw up...